Mister Bones
| Biological | |
| Full name: | Mister Bones |
|---|---|
| Born: | Unknown |
| Birthplace: | Pell, Ticondera (unconfirmed - although it has been confirmed he considers it his original hometown) |
| Sex: | Male |
| Race: | Human |
| Hair: | Bald |
| Eyes: | Gray |
| Height: | 6'3" |
| Weight: | 240 lbs. |
| Personal | |
| Marital Status: | Single (definitely single) |
| Family/Relationships: | {{{family}}} |
| Religion: | Rainericism? (Mister Bones is known to swear using her name) |
| Title: | Best knife-thrower in Mana Dimension |
| Nicknames: | The Sneaky —ing Bastard; Aliases: Simon Kellington, John Marrow, Edward Ossian |
| Hobbies: | Drinking, smoking, gambling, carousing |
| Known skills: | Expert: CQC, knife-fighting, knife-throwing, stealth; Highly skilled: deception, infiltration |
| Favorite color: | |
| Inspiration: | Allan Seabairne, his former mentor |
| Motto: | |
Contents
Description
A tall man with a nearly-shaved head (it's covered with stubble) and unshaven jaw, one of Mister Bones' distinctive trademarks are the twin curving scars lining the undercurve of his cheekbones. He is almost always seen wearing a black suit with a gray shirt, the collar left unbuttoned and the sleeves a few centimeters too long. The excess cuffs are left unbuttoned and folded back on the suit sleeves. As stated above, Mister Bones speaks with a cockney accent, but his vocabulary and other modes of speech indicate at least secondary school education. Items that he is known to carry with him almost all the time are a silver cigarette lighter, a sleek silver switchblade, and a large skull-headed knife. It's also suspected he carries a gun, but if so, he rarely draws it.
Personality
Mister Bones presents himself as a man of good taste, if malign intentions most of the time. He enjoys the majority of the pleasures his underworld connections can provide him: booze, cigarettes, gambling, and loose women, but he despises narcotics, those who sell them, and those who use them. Mister Bones apparently takes great pleasure in playing mind games with his victims before he completes his job, in some cases tormenting them with the knowledge that he's going to kill them for some time before he actually does so, and in others allowing his victims to believe that someone else is going to kill them, diverting their attention. In this regard, Mister Bones is very adept at misdirection. An interesting fact about Mister Bones is that, while he is an assassin, he doesn't like to kill people unless he's being paid to do so. Not to say that he isn't above the occasional spot of violence, of course. Also, for all of the swearing he does, Mister Bones will NEVER be heard to utter the word "fuck." He literally censors his own speech. There may be 'gaps' in his speech where it might be, or he just avoids it altogether.
History
Mister Bones was born in Pell, Ticondera, possibly the son of an Eldersden girl. During his youth, he was mentored by Allan Seabairne, who taught the youth how to defend himself and how to kill people. At some point, he dubbed himself "Mister Bones," a name he prefers to his given name, which is probably Simon Kellington. Sometime after adopting this moniker, Mister Bones killed a criminal kingpin Walter Diyme as part of a long con, of sorts, befriending the man before literally backstabbing him. Sometime after that event, he emigrated to Tasnica, making his home in Centwerp.
Since making his residence in Tasnica, Mister Bones has cemented himself as a contract killer of some repute in the Tasnican underworld. He's worked quite often for the Darkfin Syndicate, and has been confirmed as being responsible for the deaths of a group of criminal kingpins known as the Olivawk Five, as well as the entire board of directors of Gristek Industries.
After emigrating to Tasnica, Mister Bones also undertook at least one contract in Guardia, an experience which apparently did not go pleasantly for Mister Bones, who to this day holds a dislike for Guardia in general.
No Paid —ing Vacation
Hired by Nicholas Quartermain, North Viper Director of Education, Mister Bones was tasked with removing from power the two most powerful crime kingpins in the city: Miles Nickel and Charlie Diyme. As the stipulations of the contract also stated that the two mobs were also to be as crippled as possible, Mister Bones set up a mob war between the two factions, by framing one of Diyme's men, Siggy Kreiger, as the instigator of a pair of bombings. Along the way, Mister Bones helped The Boy escape Diyme's violent, abusive employ, and blew up a train in town, inadvertently foiling part of an assassination plot against Gail Courtry. After being paid for his efforts, Mister Bones and The Boy (later named Sean Kellington) returned to Tasnica while Quartermain and the rest of the Viperese regime cleaned up the mess.
Zero Body Count
More recently, and this is not public knowledge, Mister Bones was contracted by the Celpo, represented by the man in the dark suit, to infiltrate ZAPS headquarters in order to steal Norstein Bekkler's mask, and effectively kidnap Bekkler in the process. Since infiltrating the Sun Palace was a tricky prospect, Mister Bones undertook extensive preparations, acquiring equipment and supplies from Chorran underworld agents as well as from Healah Meran. Needing insider knowledge of the layout of the Sun Palace, Mister Bones contacted Kit Leon, recently fired from ZAPS by Bekkler to avoid being summoned to answer the corruption hearings. Armed and as prepared as he could get, Mister Bones snuck into the Sun Palace as part of a tour group, and slipped away, finding the Palace's hidden magical stairwell to traverse between floors to reach Bekkler's office. Once there, Mister Bones discovered that Bekkler was complicit in the entire scheme, needing a way to drop out of sight to avoid the corruption charges, and the Celpo were assisting him because "Praxer owed him a favor." After escaping from the Sun Palace with Mister Bones, Bekkler then set off a bomb on the top floor, obliterating it and staging his own death to avoid detection. Although he suffered no major injuries during the trip, the entire experience was unpleasant enough to maintain Mister Bones' dislike of Guardia.
Currently
Mister Bones is now on the Celpo's payroll, although he still works freelance.
Tips for Dealing with Mister Bones
- Never try to intimidate him. If you think you can intimidate him, you're dead wrong. Extra emphasis on the DEAD part.
- Never stiff him on his money. If you think he won't notice, just go right on thinking that right before he cuts your throat.
- Never pull a gun on him. If you think you can shoot him, make it count, because you'll only get the one shot before he jams a knife into your trachea.
- Never believe that he carries only one knife. If he throws it away, wait for it. He's got a spare. And if he throws that away, wait for it. He's got a spare spare.
- Never assume you're on his good side. If you think he's your friend, that just makes it easier for him to knife you in the back.
- Never think that you're chasing him. If you think you are, he's just leading you to a location of his choosing so he can turn around and stab you.
- Call him Boner. He likes it. Really. Manta wouldn't lie to you.
