Mister Bones

Mister Bones

Biological
Full name:	Mister Bones
Born:	Unknown
Birthplace:	Pell, Ticondera (unconfirmed - although it has been confirmed he considers it his original hometown)
Sex:	Male
Race:	Human
Hair:	Bald
Eyes:	Gray
Height:	6'3"
Weight:	240 lbs.
Personal
Marital Status:	Single (definitely single)
Family/Relationships:	{{{family}}}
Religion:	Rainericism? (Mister Bones is known to swear using her name)
Title:	Best knife-thrower in Mana Dimension
Nicknames:	The Sneaky —ing Bastard; Aliases: Simon Kellington, John Marrow, Edward Ossian
Hobbies:	Drinking, smoking, gambling, carousing
Known skills:	Expert: CQC, knife-fighting, knife-throwing, stealth; Highly skilled: deception, infiltration
Favorite color:
Inspiration:	Allan Seabairne, his former mentor
Motto:

History

Little has been accumulated on the assassin known as Mister Bones. He prefers it that way. He makes his home in Tasnica -- supposedly in Centwerp, but there's no corroborating evidence -- but from his hard-drinking, chain-smoking behavior, it could be possible he's Ticonderan by birth. Nothing has been gathered on where he received his education (if he did at all, but his mode of speech suggests he did) or how he came to become a feared and somewhat reknowned assassin-for-hire. Thus far, Mister Bones has not been responsible for any major political or social figures in the Web, sticking mostly to the criminal underworld and private contracts. It has been confirmed that he was responsible for the deaths of the entire Board of Directors of Gristek Industries, a group of crime kingpins known as the 'Olivawk Five,' as well as North Viper mob bosses Charlie Diyme and Miles Nickel. It is believed he may have ties to the Celpo, but this is unconfirmed.

Description

A tall man with a nearly-shaved head (it's covered with stubble) and unshaven jaw, one of Mister Bones' distinctive trademarks are the twin curving scars lining the undercurve of his cheekbones. He is almost always seen wearing a black suit with a gray shirt, the collar left unbuttoned and the sleeves a few centimeters too long. The excess cuffs are left unbuttoned and folded back on the suit sleeves. As stated above, Mister Bones speaks with a cockney accent, but his vocabulary and other modes of speech indicate at least secondary school education. Items that he is known to carry with him almost all the time are a silver cigarette lighter, a sleek silver switchblade, and a large skull-headed knife. It's also suspected he carries a gun, but if so, he rarely draws it.

Personality

Mister Bones presents himself as a man of good taste, if malign intentions most of the time. He enjoys the majority of the pleasures his underworld connections can provide him: booze, cigarettes, gambling, and loose women, but he despises narcotics, those who sell them, and those who use them. Mister Bones apparently takes great pleasure in playing mind games with his victims before he completes his job, in some cases tormenting them with the knowledge that he's going to kill them for some time before he actually does so, and in others allowing his victims to believe that someone else is going to kill them, diverting their attention. In this regard, Mister Bones is very adept at misdirection. An interesting fact about Mister Bones is that, while he is an assassin, he doesn't like to kill people unless he's being paid to do so. Not to say that he isn't above the occasional spot of violence, of course. Also, for all of the swearing he does, Mister Bones will NEVER be heard to utter the word "fuck." He literally censors his own speech. There may be 'gaps' in his speech where it might be, or he just avoids it altogether.

Tips for Dealing with Mister Bones

• Never try to intimidate him. If you think you can intimidate him, you're dead wrong. Extra emphasis on the DEAD part.
• Never stiff him on his money. If you think he won't notice, just go right on thinking that right before he cuts your throat.
• Never pull a gun on him. If you think you can shoot him, make it count, because you'll only get the one shot before he jams a knife into your trachea.
• Never believe that he carries only one knife. If he throws it away, wait for it. He's got a spare. And if he throws that away, wait for it. He's got a spare spare.
• Never assume you're on his good side. If you think he's your friend, that just makes it easier for him to knife you in the back.
• Never think that you're chasing him. If you think you are, he's just leading you to a location of his choosing so he can turn around and stab you.
• Call him Boner. He likes it. Really. Manta wouldn't lie to you.

Meta

Figgy

Mister Bones was nominated for a Figgy in 2003 in the Best New Character category ...and won!