2007 Figgies Fabian Clip

Needs probably has my favorite Fabian moments out of the posts I've written with him so far, and I think it really encapsulates his character in a nutshell: beautiful, conflicted, and longing for something he can't quite put into words. --Aurora 02:12, 14 March 2007 (CDT)

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Fabian hastily buckled a collar around his neck, made of stiff black leather with a stainless steel O ring dangling from it, as he stood in line outside the rundown temple. It had totally slipped his mind, and he sighed at that. He must have been losing it if he’d forgotten to accessorize properly.

The line moved forward, and as he approached the bouncer, he reached into his pocket for his wallet. However, the huge troll of a man simply nodded his head and waved Fabian in.

Fame did have its advantages, after all.

As soon as Fabian stepped inside the Banque, he felt like his usual self again. The crowd—dressed to varying degrees in black leather and vinyl—was throbbing in time to the pounding electronic beat, shaking the building to its very foundations. Fabian grinned, and checked his coat in the front. It was good to be home, despite the usual nagging feeling in the back of his skull he got whenever he was here.

He strode confidently to the dancefloor, a man with singular purpose. The rhythm was in his blood and he let the music take him away from here, far away from the world of angst and loathing he had taken up in the last day. None of that mattered now, in this place and in this time, and all of it melted away as Fabian danced. He spun and twirled, his skirt giving him the appearance of some mad whirling dervish. His hips swiveled seductively, as if they had a mind of their own, and he lifted his arms in the air, turning them again and again to the dark, almost primal beats. Perhaps it was his Elven blood, but there was nothing on life that made Fabian feel the way dancing did.

There was nothing that made him feel so alive.

He pirouetted through the crowd, dancing alone, and with whomever fell under his spell. Male, female, it didn’t matter to Fabian, it never mattered to him. The energy was what mattered, the feeling of pure bliss as his hands joined with those of a scantily clad woman, the way a gorgeous young male leaned against his back and swayed with him. Like a siren he called to them, and they made a fleeting connection. The beauty of it all made him want to cry out in joy.

A familiar song started up, a dirge-like synth line Fabian knew by heart because Serena wrote it. When he heard his own voice echoing through the loudspeakers, he felt a little guilty at taking such pleasure in continuing to dance. He permitted himself a little vanity, though, just for one night.

Through darkened streets and blackened gloom…the candles dim in your bedroom…rain reflecting shadows in the night…

Fabian closed his eyes, raising his arms and spinning gracefully.

The moon is full and through the mist…I hear your voice, I feel your kiss…the line grows thin between what’s wrong and right…

Suddenly, a presence entered his space, with an intoxicating heat as familiar to him as his own. He smiled as a pair of arms wrapped around his bare midriff and rocked with him to the music. How perfect it felt, and Fabian almost laughed. This song was about him, about them, and it was only right that he be here in this moment. Fabian leaned back and gyrated against him, lost in the sensation of hot breath against his pointed ear.

Burning flesh, pale as the stars…no one knows just who you are…drive the knife deeper into my soul…

Fabian turned around and opened his eyes, wrapping his arms around Rei’s neck as they continued to dance. Rei winked at him.

Velvet touch your mouth on mine…drunk on lust like drunk on wine…the world will end, we'll hear the thunder roll…

“And here I was, thinking you had gone out to get lucky,” Rei said.

“I just did, didn’t I?”

Don't even say it…don't even look away…haunted by…haunted by…black winged angel come to me, release my soul from this misery…

Rei pulled Fabian close, then bent down and kissed him softly.

“I’m sorry—” Fabian began to whisper, but Rei placed a finger on his mouth, then kissed him a second time.

“Not now. Let’s just dance. You need this.”

Fabian smiled in defeat, resting his head against Rei’s shoulder, and lost himself in their music once again. Yes, this is what he needed right now, above all else. This was the only thing that would bring him back.

A lone violin played a sorrowful melody and the chorus rang out again, the “haunted bys” carrying a deepened sense of urgency to them, this time with Rei’s vocals an echoing counterpoint to Fabian’s.

In the candlelight you'll see…just what all this means to me…the line grows thin between what's wrong and right…

Fabian pulled away from Rei, arching his back with a swoon, and Rei pulled him back to him again, his arms wrapped about Fabian’s waist in a vice grip.

Tula amin…tula amin… Their voices intertwined in a dark harmony, chanting the Elven words again and again: “come to me.”

The song faded to silence, and a new one started up, this one faster and harder, and Fabian’s consciousness returned to reality. He smiled at Rei as they separated and left the dancefloor.

“How do you do that?” Fabian asked in astonishment.

“Do what?” Rei raised an eyebrow.

“You always know how to reach me, even when I don’t know how to reach myself.”

“Hang around someone long enough, and you start to know them better than they know themselves,” Rei answered with a shrug. Then he smiled. “C’mon, let’s get out of here. I want to go for a walk.”

“Sure.”

As Fabian walked toward the coat check, he caught an interesting exchange out of the corner of his eye. Rei was behind him, and just happened to make a little saluting gesture toward the DJ booth. A green-haired Elf in a painful looking leather waist cincher returned the gesture with a thumbs up sign of his own. Fabian narrowed his eyes in suspicion, then gave up and laughed. Rei was as calculating as he was handsome, and sometimes Fabian forgot that.

“Where do you want to go?” he asked Rei as he took his coat.

“Let’s hit the boardwalk, I want to get some noodles from Sammy’s. I’m kinda hungry,” Rei said

“Me too.”

Fabian lit a cigarette with a ring -covered hand, and just as he put the pack and lighter in his coat pocket, Rei grinned at him and took his free hand. Fabian blinked in surprise, but didn’t question it. It was odd, to say the least, but the feeling wasn’t at all unpleasant.

The two walked out of the Banque and down Empress Avenue, the main drag in Bonro’s nightclub district. They walked past burlesque houses and cinemas, not saying anything but simply enjoying each other’s company as they made their way to the end of the street and the waterfront’s boardwalk.

The Boardwalk was an unusual place, even by Bonro standards, with its neon lights and faded old carnie signs. Sideshows sat next to trendy outdoor cafes serving Scandian-Hylian fusion fare. Troubadours in old-fashioned garb stood in front of gothic and punk boutiques, singing of the War of Sai Krolis, their accompaniment provided by blaring boom boxes. It was strange and fascinating to Fabian, this garish clash of the modern and the antiquated that seemed to be a running theme of the entire city. It gave Bonro a kind of messy, jumbled and alive quality. Albrook may have been a nicer city—and it was, in most respects—but Fabian found himself preferring this crazy, messed up town.

Rei and Fabian stopped in front of a food stand with colorful red flags flying from it. A sign sat out front, with a cartoonish-looking bug-eyed little man on it in a blue and white checkered Eblanese-looking jacket holding a set of chopsticks and a bowl. Fabian peered inside the booth, but no one seemed to be there.

“Ne, oji-san!” Rei called out, tapping his hand on the counter. A squat little man who looked an awful lot like the one on the sign popped his head up, and leapt up onto a small step-stool. He was balding, and wore a white bandanna wrapped around his large forehead which had some Xsian characters written on it. Fabian thought he looked like a Dwarf at first, but something wasn’t quite right. There was a slightly narrow slant to his eyes, and a thinness to his beard, that gave him away as a Mul.

“Rei-san! How you doing?” The Mul grinned at Rei and bowed excitedly to him.

“Pretty good,” Rei answered with a polite bow. The Mul took an appraising look at Fabian, then nodded in approval.

“Ooh, you got Elf girl, looks good! Not gay no more, eh?”

Fabian began coughing violently, while Rei burst out laughing.

“Sammy…Fabian’s a guy,” he gently pointed out once he regained some measure of composure.

Sammy leaned over the counter, peering at Fabian intently in attempt to size him up for any clues. He narrowed his eyes.

“Bullshit,” the Mul scoffed. “I know girl when I see one.”

Fabian put his cigarette out, and with a roll of his eyes, unzipped his cropped shirt to reveal a pair of very nicely pierced nipples, but nothing else. Sammy’s eyes went wide.

“Sorry ‘bout that...guess you still gay.”

Fabian chuckled and zipped his shirt back up.

“I’m half-human but the Elf blood is a lot stronger, and we all kinda look like girls,” Fabian said. “Even when we’re not wearing makeup,” he added with a wry grin. The Mul nodded knowingly and bowed deeply.

“Sorry ‘bout that. No worries, eh? Be how you want, I don’t care.”

“It’s alright. I sort of get that a lot,” Fabian accepted his apology with a smile. Rei tapped the counter meaningfully.

“Ne, oji-san, can we get some food or are you gonna stand around yakking all night?”

“Tch, kids!” Sammy grunted. “No patience! What you want?”

“I’ll take some beef ramen and a beer. How about you, Fabian? I’m buying.”

Fabian pursed his lips in thought, looking at the chalkboard on the bottom of the stand.

“In that case…I’ll have some vegetable tempura and a beer, too,” he replied.

Rei handed over the money, and some short moments later, Sammy handed over two steaming bowls and two pairs of disposable chopsticks. Fabian took his and walked over to a nearby bench, where Rei sat down beside him.

“Best Eblanese food in Bonro,” he said between mouthfuls of ramen. “Cheap, and not like that lame crap at those fancy tourist restaurants. There’s nothing but Maraks working in those, and all they know how to make right is booze.”

Fabian shoveled a bit of fried zucchini into his mouth, and had to agree. The breading was light and crisp, and the veggies were out of this world.

“How’d you find out about this place, anyway?” Fabian asked after taking a sip of Eblanese beer.

“Jade used to order lunch from there all the time when we worked at the Fangorium together. I started stopping off there after work all the time, it kinda fed my cravings for Mom’s homecooking.”

“Your mother would probably cut your tongue off if she heard you comparing her cooking to a Mul’s,” Fabian mused aloud.

“Yeah,” Rei agreed, “but Mom’s stupid like that sometimes. I just ignore her when she gets like that.”

Fabian finished his meal in silence, and when Rei slurped down the last of his noodles, he took the empty bowls and bottles back to the stand and sat back on the bench, putting an arm around his friend.

“Look,” Rei said in a suddenly serious tone of voice. “My point is, we can’t pick our families, the blood ones at any rate. When you’re little, you idolize your parents and think they can’t do any wrong. But you’ve got to realize, they’re human just like everyone else.” Rei paused, and then gave Fabian a sideways smile, gently flicking one of his pointed ears. “Well, some of them are human. But you get my drift.”

“Yeah, I do,” Fabian sighed. “It’s just...” He lowered his eyes, letting the sentence trail off. Rei nodded, and frowned.

“I know. Your old man was rotten to you, when he was even around. I understand, because I saw it. But, as much as he hurt you, and as much as it still stings, there comes a point when you’ve just got to let it go. He’s gone now, and probably realizes how badly he treated you. I know he wants to make amends, but it’s too late for him. It’s not too late for you, though. Holding onto this bitterness is just hurting yourself,” Rei said, placing a hand on Fabian’s cheek and turning his face toward his. “And you know something? I fucking hate seeing you hurt. It kills me inside.”

“Rei...” Fabian sighed again, closing his eyes and nuzzling against Rei’s neck. “I just...he’s gone.” Fabian bit his lip, fighting against the tears that were forming in his eyes.

“I know.”

Rei wrapped his arms around Fabian, as he bitterly started to weep. It had finally struck him, there on a bench on the boardwalk surrounded by so much light and noise: Fabian’s father was dead, and he would never see him again. He would never get the chance to show him he was wrong, that he could make it in this world without ever having to put on that blasted gold and white uniform. He’d never show him that he could be his own man, and be happy living his life on his own terms. Worst of all, he’d never get the chance to make peace with him, and that hurt more than anything.

When the storm of his weeping ended at last, Rei took one of the napkins from Sammy’s and wiped Fabian’s face.

“Thanks,” Fabian said.

“Hey, it’s nothing.”

“No, I mean it,” Fabian insisted. “Thanks for everything. Coming after me, and getting Lareth to play Incubus...”

Rei winced, and shook his head, chuckling to himself.

“Busted, then. Ah well, doesn’t matter now.”

“And I’m sorry for being such a jackass. I don’t know how you guys put up with me,” Fabian apologized. Rei leered and him, and grinned.

“You know, you’re really lucky you’re so fucking hot,” he said, caressing Fabian’s tear-stained cheek. “If you were ugly, we’d have just told you to go to hell.”

Rei winked mischievously at him, and Fabian laughed.

“Thanks...I think.”

Rei kissed him and rose from the bench, pulling Fabian to his feet.

“Come on, beautiful. Let’s go home.”